Dear Shep,

Happy half birthday to my little stink. I have written this – then deleted it, about 3 times now so bear with me. I have this fear that one day you will sit to read these in the same way I read sentimental greeting cards. You know, the 5 page tri-folds that express someone’s love for you (written by a stranger they’ve never met) in the form of a poem that overlaps a body of water of some sort. Please don’t skim. Each word comes straight from my soul – and you owe me.

You are now 14.2 pounds and 24 inches long. You have decided in the last two weeks that your thumb is your new best friend at nap time, and after almost 6 months of fighting naps, you now let me lay you down as you turn into your thumb and put yourself to sleep. It’s absolutely adorable! You still aren’t huge on tummy time, but you’re getting better at holding that cute little head of yours up high and rolling from both sides like a champ. You still haven’t tasted real food yet, but that’s just around the corner and I know you’ll be great at it after I caught you snatching a carrot out of my hand and sticking it right in your mouth last night. You spend 90% of your days with your toes in your mouth and love a good book as long as I stay creative with the voices. My favorite thing about you is your smile. Its contagious. Each morning, Daddy brings you to the bed to eat and you give me the biggest grin before eating that makes the 6am wakeup call suddenly feel manageable. You hear my voice behind you while playing and turn to smile at me, and you sometimes catch a second wind when I am putting you to bed and flash that huge grin, forcing me to smile back which in turn only wakes you up more.

We spend our Mondays with Dece, Wednesdays at the library, and Fridays are all in preparation for Daddy to get home at 3. You love to take walks with me and Aspyn in the stroller and you have just started enjoying your crazy jumparoo (or command center as we call it). Bath time is your favorite – every night at 6:30 – and you are going crazy with splashing and kicking in the water when you get to have baths with me or Daddy in the big tub. Daddy pretends to catch you like a fish when he picks you up and he gets the biggest grins from you when putting lotion on your feet – who doesn’t love a good foot rub? It would take me pages to update you on all of your little quirks, but you should know that each and every one of them makes our days better than the last.

Thank you for making me a mommy. You took my life and you rearranged it in the most complex way – so complex, that I realize now it was backwards before. I don’t sleep in any longer, and I’m unable to do anything without wanting it enough to plan for hours ahead, but that’s the beauty you bring to life…..it has purpose. You are the only piece of me that matters any longer. My self died the day you were born and I realize now more than ever what God’s purpose is for my life. I hope that as I pray over you each night, the Lord is touching your heart for the future man you will become. You were created against all odds for a purpose and I smile at the thought of watching you fulfill that to it’s fullest. I adore you. I am proud of you. I can not wait to get to know you more. I love you Shep – all the way to Jesus.

Xx Mommy