Dear Shep,

I’ve been writing you for five years. Five years of typing out firsts and setbacks and victories. Five years of vacation and tears and adventure and motherhood. I took some time to look back through it all and all I can say is thank you. Thank you so much. As I type I realize it’s been closer to 7 years that I’ve been writing you. You see, when you were only a promise from Jesus and a hope in my heart I would write you. Maybe because I needed to give you life in the only way I could. Maybe bc I truly knew you would be. I still can’t be sure why, but I’m glad I did. You see, you were the key to me fulfilling my great commission. The one reason I’m here. To glorify Jesus. To better His kingdom. To spread the gospel. I’m afraid I fail at that on a daily basis, but each morning that you rise you show me grace. You allow me start fresh. You already know so much about what’s important and find ways to redirect me daily to what matters most. I’m just so grateful that you were entrusted to me and your Father. You belong to your Heavenly Father and we release you to Him daily, but we are so incredibly beyond thankful that we have you here with us. Goodness, you are so loved.

Five was a bit of a hard one to swallow. I can’t be sure what it was about that number, but it really just set everything in stone for me. It proved that you would, in fact, grow up. That you’ll start school next year. School wont stop. It will turn into college. Oh gosh I’m marrying you off in paragraph two. See what this five did to me? It’s gross. I don’t recognize myself.